Is it just me or are American girls typically not that interested in Asian men

peter4zen wrote:

I caught a glimpse of the movie "breakfast at tiffanys" this weekend, and there an example, not even played by an asian guy)

To be fair, that's only the most racist scene against asian men in the history of American cinema.

woodenscissors wrote:

peter4zen wrote:

I caught a glimpse of the movie "breakfast at tiffanys" this weekend, and there an example, not even played by an asian guy)

To be fair, that's only the most racist scene against asian men in the history of American cinema.

it maybe indeed but while I am not a movie buff, but I can think up at least 10 different scenes like that in various movies at various stage of american history, and I guarantee there are tons more.

it doesn't take a lot. small bite sized scenes like that acccmulate to create this facade for asian men in western culture.

either that or the sexless hero type. IF you got some karate skills. read jackie chan.

I've been to almost every state + major city in America thanks to band touring and i've always had non-asian female attention throughout the country.

I think you've got it wrong Peter. The main challenge does not come from insecure American media executives and the movies they create. Any Asian guy with a reasonably strong personality will override the perception created by any movie.

So assuming you have the personality thing down, the biggest practical issue, in my experience, has been family. Asian families tend to be very, very critical of any girlfriends who come through, and will be even more so if they're non-Asian. The lucky Asian guys will have open-minded parents, but a lot of times, that isn't the case, and the guy will have to fight for the girl to be accepted.

Merch_Mike wrote:

I've been to almost every state + major city in America thanks to band touring and i've always had non-asian female attention throughout the country.

well duh. 50yo roadies have actions too. not exactly the best gauge of things....

Once again Peter, you're relying on someone else's perception of you. If you want to be successful dating in a country like the US, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and show who you really are. Or they will stereotype you away. You're not a white guy so you can't blend in and have things work out for you here.

kensup wrote:

I think you've got it wrong Peter. The main challenge does not come from insecure American media executives and the movies they create. Any Asian guy with a reasonably strong personality will override the perception created by any movie.

So assuming you have the personality thing down, the biggest practical issue, in my experience, has been family. Asian families tend to be very, very critical of any girlfriends who come through, and will be even more so if they're non-Asian. The lucky Asian guys will have open-minded parents, but a lot of times, that isn't the case, and the guy will have to fight for the girl to be accepted.

Frankly if your mommy dictate your dating habits, then it's game over obviously.

but there's another pickle. we can't sit here faulting society when we ourselves let the racist family members dictate who we love. and I am not really calling your parents racist kensup, I know my parents used to be like that too, and all the children intermarried so they kinda got adapted it, but yeah.....

My biggest hurdle recently has been the no-good friends and interlopers of the girl injecting their opinion about how she should be going with that handsome white dude next door, rather than that weird lookin asian dude across the pond. at any hint of uncertainty and they will spring forth and ruin a perfect relationship faster than a fungus on a piece of rye bread.

plus you know the uglyness of my personal being, you know that well kensup.

kensup wrote:

Once again Peter, you're relying on someone else's perception of you. If you want to be successful dating in a country like the US, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and show who you really are. Or they will stereotype you away. You're not a white guy so you can't blend in and have things work out for you here.

eh no. this is not a "someone elses" perception, it's the perception of society in general. and if that's the field you're playing in, you play with the rules that you're given.

personally, I don't think I ever had anyone stereotype me in any way, but I did get "we are too different" thing quite a bit, and only after good 6+month of dating. Heck, that's a nice way to go i guess, asian girls would feel that same way.

peter4zen wrote:

kensup wrote:

Once again Peter, you're relying on someone else's perception of you. If you want to be successful dating in a country like the US, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and show who you really are. Or they will stereotype you away. You're not a white guy so you can't blend in and have things work out for you here.

eh no. this is not a "someone elses" perception, it's the perception of society in general. and if that's the field you're playing in, you play with the rules that you're given.

personally, I don't think I ever had anyone stereotype me in any way, but I did get "we are too different" thing quite a bit, and only after good 6+month of dating. Heck, that's a nice way to go i guess, asian girls would feel that same way.

I think it's more accepted with asian girls. You'll see more white guy/asian girl couples than asian guy/white girl. The asian girls that I know, who go out with white guys are anything the quiet and reserved stereotype.

True on the rules of the game. Confidence goes a long way but even when I've got a good rapport with someone... I still have to battle that "societies ideal guy." Most girls buy into it. If you put forth the effort at least most will entertain the notion but it doesn't cancel it outt.

It's not racism peter. It's different. My parents only have a superficial understanding of Western culture. Unless a potential non-Asian wife is extremely socially adept and open-minded, it's quite possible my parents will simply be incapable of understanding her. I think a lot of first-generation Asian immigrants are in the same boat.

And it's your choice whether to play by society's rules or not. If you're a guy who won't break the rules once in a while, then you're going to let others dictate your image for you. And in this sense, yeah, a white guy will have an advantage, because his baseline image is widely accepted. But if you're at least a mild "rule-breaker" as I tend to be, then you will have plenty of opportunities. I've hooked up with a number of non-Asian girls, and I've always been their "first one." Don't expect them to come to you like you're a white guy. I mean, on rare occasion, they will. But are you going to wait around for that low chance, or are you going to make it happen yourself?

As far as your gf's friends recommending that other guy, that's where your social skills come into play. You have to win your gf's friends over. I don't think this has anything to do with your race.