Darker girls disadvantaged on amwf social networks?

I believe my skin color is beautiful and if someone doesn't want my friendship because of it it is their personal issue. I don't need ignorant people like that in my life and neither should you. Saying that darker girls have a disadvantage just makes me feel so upset because no one here has an advantage/disadvantage. Everyone is equal. That is what I believe.

Skin color is just a part of it. It's about how you look in general including facial features and all.

For example, if you were to take the skin color of some Asians and the skin color of some white people, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference, but the difference is surely there.

It really sucks that society thinks one race is more attractive than another and it sucks even more when people internalize these preferences.

Keep in mind, part of the reason this site exists is because Western society finds Asian males the least attractive. But I think this will change with time as well.

@JediTruc
First of all, I should say that I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just trying to be honest and through that, further an intellectual discussion. Second of all, this is not just how I feel. I'm basing my guess on the experiences that I've had. I grew up in a Chinese family, grew up with mostly Asians at an Asian high school in California and then lived a couple of years in China, so I think I have some perspective.

Asians not preferring darker people is definitely the impression I get.

But if you don't get that general impression from the Asians that you've met, then either you've been lucky or I've been unlucky.

I think this forum thread should't be there. It's causing a fuss for nothing. It can also solve absolutely nothing.

I see people equally, but I like some and I don't like some. Liking a color of the skin is exactly as liking any other color. I like blue, you like green, then someone comes up to me and accuses me of "colorism" because I don't like green and I like blue. That's messed up.

I think it's "to each their own". Let's leave the black race out of this matter for a second.

I like asian guys and I am white ^^. Oh, I must also add that I am not too eager to date white guys. Why? It's a matter of taste. Since I would rather date someone who doesn't belong to my own skin color group , yet I think of everyone equally, then the same thing can happen to any other person, with any other skin color.

I don't think our guys here in the forum are racist or something. If they like a certain skin color, then leave them alone, it's their choice. Oh yea you might think of it as unfair, but it is as unfair as I am to whipped cream. I love chocolate and dislike whipped cream and it's my choice to eat what I want. I apologise for discriminating the whipped cream, but what I like is what I like and it can't be changed. Discrimination as you think of it is a part of being human, because as humans we have the power to choose for ourselves. If someone is purely mean, then they will be miserable one day, but at the same time you can't accuse people of being unfair just because they like one thing more than the other. That's all there is to it. And starting drama on the forums won't turn you into a hero, you're just gonna create unnecessary tension. So think again before saying stuff like this. You know how sensitive dark skinned people are about this subject.

I totally support this. See, I'm not the only one who says this.

Favor4Nee wrote:

xXxOniBerxXx wrote:

Honestly, if a guy wants an White skinned female over a darker skinned female than who cares? That's just what a guy wants in a female, I honestly don't think it's personal. It's sad that they don't want a guy simply because of the color of their skin but it happens. I am beyond sure there are tons of guys who love darker skinned females, I have tons of guy friends who actually love VERY Dark skinned girls over the lighter colored girls. It isn't a case of racism it's just what they honestly want. Could you call me a racist for wanting an Asian man over a White guy? I would give the white guy a chance but honest to gosh I really am not all that attracted to white dudes... It's not racism or discrimination, I'm part European so yea...It's simply what I am attracted to... But I must say again, even though I am young and brown skinned I still get hit on a lot. There will always be people who like one thing over another, you can't really hate them for it or call them racist etc.

Good point Oni

Okay, let's think about why girls (especially Black girls) join a site like this *tell me if I'm wrong* -- they have probably tried to befriend and date Asian guys in their hometown or school but have been less successful than they would like. They want an easier, more convenient, more fun way to meet a bunch of people who *understand* their unique (rarely understood by friends, family) preference for Asian guys, and who return that same feeling. They don't want to have to go through the process of "feeling out" an Asian guy to see if he's remotely interested in non-Asian girls only to find out there's a 0% chance with him, Asian girls only! -- it's a sad realization for even the most optimistic person to have, repeatedly over years..even if you understand they're not racist, nothing's wrong with you, etc.

Imagine if you were really happy to find a website that provided this convenience, community, and yes, Asian guys who are open to dating outside their race -- score! Big sigh of relief, you've found paradise And then you realize, fairly quickly, that you're getting brushed off by attractive guys you send msgs/requests to, and their walls are full of other girls (of a certain type different from yours) replying on that same day. That sinking feeling you came to this site to avoid starts to return when you realize some Asian guys' preference for White or blonde girls is equivalent to that "Asian girls only" mentality that you ran into before this site.

I don't want to speak for all the girls here, but I suspect some others might agree with me... We understand guys have preferences for a certain look, we know we do too! We're not *angry* that some Asian guys like White girls, it's great! What bothers us is being completely ignored by multiple guys who obviously could spend 5 seconds of the hours they spend on hey-ai to send a friendly reply msg, just as a courtesy, but they don't -- and the reason is really obvious. I reply to everyone, even if I'm not immediately attracted because it's just the nice thing to do, I could make a new friend, and I guess I have the free time So if any guys read this far, the next time you see a girl reach out to you with a nice friendly msg, no matter her race or anything else, it would be wonderful if you could consider sending back a reply -- showing that you're open and interested in a casual conversation at least; it will make hey-ai a better place and who knows what else could happen, right?

catchlight wrote:

Okay, let's think about why girls (especially Black girls) join a site like this *tell me if I'm wrong* -- they have probably tried to befriend and date Asian guys in their hometown or school but have been less successful than they would like. They want an easier, more convenient, more fun way to meet a bunch of people who *understand* their unique (rarely understood by friends, family) preference for Asian guys, and who return that same feeling. They don't want to have to go through the process of "feeling out" an Asian guy to see if he's remotely interested in non-Asian girls only to find out there's a 0% chance with him, Asian girls only! -- it's a sad realization for even the most optimistic person to have, repeatedly over years..even if you understand they're not racist, nothing's wrong with you, etc.

Imagine if you were really happy to find a website that provided this convenience, community, and yes, Asian guys who are open to dating outside their race -- score! Big sigh of relief, you've found paradise And then you realize, fairly quickly, that you're getting brushed off by attractive guys you send msgs/requests to, and their walls are full of other girls (of a certain type different from yours) replying on that same day. That sinking feeling you came to this site to avoid starts to return when you realize some Asian guys' preference for White or blonde girls is equivalent to that "Asian girls only" mentality that you ran into before this site.

I don't want to speak for all the girls here, but I suspect some others might agree with me... We understand guys have preferences for a certain look, we know we do too! We're not *angry* that some Asian guys like White girls, it's great! What bothers us is being completely ignored by multiple guys who obviously could spend 5 seconds of the hours they spend on hey-ai to send a friendly reply msg, just as a courtesy, but they don't -- and the reason is really obvious. I reply to everyone, even if I'm not immediately attracted because it's just the nice thing to do, I could make a new friend, and I guess I have the free time So if any guys read this far, the next time you see a girl reach out to you with a nice friendly msg, no matter her race or anything else, it would be wonderful if you could consider sending back a reply -- showing that you're open and interested in a casual conversation at least; it will make hey-ai a better place and who knows what else could happen, right?

You're right...but also, have you thought about the fact that the same guys you're trying to reach out to have been also ignored by other girls on this site that THEY tried to reach out, to?

Honestly, I think this is normal....If they don't wanna answer, they don't have to. If they're not interested, they don't have to answer. I know that getting overlooked or ignored is lame and I know how it feels, because it happened to me a couple of times in my life and it's not a pretty feeling. But, you know, life goes on. You don't lose anything if they ignore you. Move on to someone who won't.

JKC wrote:

@JediTruc
First of all, I should say that I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just trying to be honest and through that, further an intellectual discussion. Second of all, this is not just how I feel. I'm basing my guess on the experiences that I've had. I grew up in a Chinese family, grew up with mostly Asians at an Asian high school in California and then lived a couple of years in China, so I think I have some perspective.

JKC wrote:

In general, I think Asians do not prefer darker girls, which really sucks I admit. Asians who have grown up in the West are definitely more open, but I still think this bias exists.

It makes sense too if you think about it. A lot of attractiveness is heavily socially constructed and Western society says that whites are the most attractive all around. Even if we try to be open, it's very difficult to fight against what society tells you on a daily basis. Again, I think this will improve with time.

You claim us are like you. You need to think twice before saying that buddy!! I aren't like you, my mom is worst than you and your family she very prediction and want only asian for asian deeply that why I don't agree with her however I have to respect my mom regardless she thinks in this world. You step in whatever you want and say whatever you want but NEVER SAY WE AS ASIAN are the same page as you. If this your 2cents thought, than I have nothing against you. But if you directly to these black ladies, you are tool.

Most everyone here has a valid point. It's true that there is a bigger percentage of guys on these types of sites that prefer lighter skinned females. Not to say this site in particular but to include other sites like this into the equation as well.

Really it just all comes down to preference. I'm sure everyone has some type they are just not attracted to, but that type is attracted to them. And yes it sucks when your feelings are not returned but there shouldn't be blame on anyone. I understand what some of the girls here are saying that because of their skin color they are ignored, yes that is true that some guys will ignore you because of your skin color, but then again it all goes back to preference.

As an Asian male growing up in southeast America it's almost been impossible for me to even make female friends. Even Asian girls that grew up here ignored me like anyone else would. Then one day I realized that there is no one I can really blame, that's just how it is.

The only thing you can do is overcome the situation is by moving forward and keep on searching, because when you give up that's when you'll lose out on finding that person you've been looking for.

i read a post above saying "Okay, let's think about why girls (especially Black girls) join a site like this *tell me if I'm wrong* -- they have probably tried to befriend and date Asian guys in their hometown or school but have been less successful than they would like." mostly black girls lol i see a handfull of black girls on this site..and a biiiiiiig handful is mainly white girls trying and making asain guy friends daily i mean theres nothing wrong with this this..the site is here because everyone here was at a disavantage at talking to another race so here they can do that which is pretty cool how bout beside making stupid threads choose a good subject that everyone can relate to everyone on here is everyone competition and even on this site i see asain guys still having difficulties talking to girls so why not stop posting useless threads and go talk to the good looking fellas this is why yall here right..im not being mean and not trying to be mean but its the truth..again who ever made this thread is a jerk (rolling eyeso_0)

The young black female that created this thread was 14 years old.
She was a very bright young woman asking a genuine question.

She has since deleted her account.