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Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

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13 years 3 months ago #137929 by th3f4llen

Laraski wrote: And to that rule thing, i'm not against that kind of rule, but it should be worked, that it will be flawless, cause it sucks if someone would be kicked out, when they haven't done anything.


It cannot be flawless, although I do agree that it would suck if there was a misunderstanding. But there is very little that can be done. The methods I propose might make a few guys able to get away with it, but it is minimal. There should be a margin of error, instead of trying to make it flawless... because the very nature of flawlessness does not exist

if you're reading this...

you're gay

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13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137930 by TigerInside

immoral e- wrote:

TigerInside wrote: I am pretty sure that kind of action is illegal data privacy wise. ;)

I wouldn't be so sure. It depends. For example check out:
www.facebook.com/legal/terms
Pay attention to #2: Sharing Your Content and Information.


It's not just about using pictures. It's about pillorying someone by posting his picture and "officially" state that he is a liar/cheater/whatever for everyone to see.
Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by TigerInside.

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13 years 3 months ago #137932 by th3f4llen

TigerInside wrote: Oh and by the way, while we are already at it, a request:

Can you make a rule which forces people to state their age? Because there were a few times where I was thinking something like "Damn, how old is she? Is it okay for me to talk/reply to her?l"



Faking your age on the internet is easier than anything....

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you're gay

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13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137935 by TigerInside

th3f4llen wrote:

TigerInside wrote: Oh and by the way, while we are already at it, a request:

Can you make a rule which forces people to state their age? Because there were a few times where I was thinking something like "Damn, how old is she? Is it okay for me to talk/reply to her?l"



Faking your age on the internet is easier than anything....


Yeah, lying on the internet is always easy. But this way, you can at least help some honest ones. ;)
Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by TigerInside.

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13 years 3 months ago #137947 by Zoom

kazu wrote: As a guy who have been in a steady relationship with someone, and even if we break up, I have other venues to get my needs fixed, whether this rule gets into play or not doesn't affect me whatsoever. Here's my take:

The intention of this new policy is nice, but it's too flawed in nature.You guys don't have enough means to really verify the truth, what everyone is saying offline. By them justifying things on here would just become a fiasco of "he said she said he said", and there'd be too much drama going on.
I still am in the position of letting each of our members live their own lives (yes, be it honest, deceitful, nonchalant etc), and let their own judge of character live and learn


It's unfortunate that these things happen but kazu is right. Although I can't offer any suggestions to remedy what has already taken place, I think prevention is something that can be done atm to prevent things like this from happening. What I mean by this is diverting our efforts as members and moderators to finding resources online or providing personal experiences and encouragement to others about how to avoid sexual predators or harmful relationships and if possible, posting advice in the forum on how to find potential partners.

With that said, I know this isn't a dating site and there are plenty of threads that offer advices and opinions so perhaps we can build upon them or initiate a new section that specifically aims to deal with these type of situations.

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13 years 3 months ago #137949 by AnJing
With all due respect, what kind of girl is being tricked into sex? Girls with brain?

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13 years 3 months ago #137951 by lights

Zoom wrote: It's unfortunate that these things happen but kazu is right. Although I can't offer any suggestions to remedy what has already taken place, I think prevention is something that can be done atm to prevent things like this from happening. What I mean by this is diverting our efforts as members and moderators to finding resources online or providing personal experiences and encouragement to others about how to avoid sexual predators or harmful relationships and if possible, posting advice in the forum on how to find potential partners.


But if there are complaints from multiple girls to the mods about a confirmed 'sexual predator' then you would do something?

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13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137953 by Karyuu
Well, for any user data that we store and display, of course the user must be notified and given the choice to leave the site for good in exchange.


Also: That we have a rule doesn't mean that we will enforce it in all cases. Of course such a rule would only be enforced if the girls seem to be suffering quite severely and there seems to be maliciousness on the guys side.
What we can't do is punish people for something that is not punishable by our rules. That'd be really random on our side, and we couldn't make sure that similar cases get similar punishment. Therefore, we like to have strict rules and enforce them moderately, rather than the other way around.


About the "must display age on profile". We could make this "mandatory", which means Hey-Ai won't let you sign up unless you fill it out. I'll give this suggestion some thought and discuss it with more people here or among the admins. We are disinclined in general of loading the signup page with mandatory fields since the signup-process is pretty hasslesome in general already. If we feel it's necessary, we will do it however. I want to point out though that we get a ton of underage girls through our facebook ads, even though facebook customer service repeatedly assured me only people over 18 can see those ads....

th3f4llen:
He was saying to post pictures, while your suggestion sounded more like posting usernames. Otherwise, they sounded quite similar indeed. Since you meant posting labels like ""quick fling", or "only here for one-nighters" : You know that new members are generally very disoriented and it takes months until they find out how a website really works. How do we ensure they understand that this is an admin-imposed warning, rather than a joke or something the user has written himself?^^

And again, I'm not talking about girls who are "sort of disappointed our hurt". I doubt these would even contact us, and I'm disinclined to do anything in such cases because that's not how life works. I'm talking about the fact that we get letters every once in a while from girls who seem to be in severe psychological distress about an encounter they've had with one of our members.


Also: no we do not verify every new member on cam XD OMG we would never have the resources to do that, and who signs up at a site that forces you to cam up before you even get access? XD
Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by Karyuu.

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13 years 3 months ago #137957 by TigerInside

Karyuu wrote: Also: no we do not verify every new member on cam XD OMG we would never have the resources to do that, and who signs up at a site that forces you to cam up before you even get access? XD


^^ lulz I just laughed out loud at the idea.

Interesting to know that you are advertising on facebook, btw. I didn't know that. :)

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13 years 3 months ago #137960 by immoral e-

TigerInside wrote:

immoral e- wrote:

TigerInside wrote: I am pretty sure that kind of action is illegal data privacy wise. ;)

I wouldn't be so sure. It depends. For example check out:
www.facebook.com/legal/terms
Pay attention to #2: Sharing Your Content and Information.


It's not just about using pictures. It's about pillorying someone by posting his picture and "officially" state that he is a liar/cheater/whatever for everyone to see.

What if it's "unofficial"? What if it's not "state" but "suspect"? What if it's not "proven" but "alleged"?
Tbh, I'm mostly against doing anything in this matter. And I agree that posting pictures of these "criminals" can make hey-ai very ugly, even if it's legal. But if hey-ai has data on these perpetrators, I believe it can come up with other non-pillory ways to deal with them.

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