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Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

Betty L
Visitor

13 years 3 months ago #137893 by Betty L

Replied by Betty L on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

th3f4llen wrote: Don't ban anyone. In fact, don't even impose such a rule. Instead, make a "blacklist". Guys that are repeatedly reported to do such things, will have their name in the blacklist. That blacklist won't limit the guy's actions on the forum, but it is a label right next to his name to warn the other girls that he is only here for flings and such. The idea is, if that person is not going to tell girls he's only here for flings, then the mods will do it.

i like this idea! I mean if the girl wants a fling with a gross guy let her be. but yah if you want a relationship you can like stay away form ppl on the list...maybe its shouldn't be a blacklist of guys but girls too? i mean face not only boys are horndogs....

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th3f4llen
User is blocked

13 years 3 months ago #137894 by th3f4llen

Replied by th3f4llen on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

Betty L wrote:
th3f4llen wrote: Don't ban anyone. In fact, don't even impose such a rule. Instead, make a "blacklist". Guys that are repeatedly reported to do such things, will have their name in the blacklist. That blacklist won't limit the guy's actions on the forum, but it is a label right next to his name to warn the other girls that he is only here for flings and such. The idea is, if that person is not going to tell girls he's only here for flings, then the mods will do it.

i like this idea! I mean if the girl wants a fling with a gross guy let her be. but yah if you want a relationship you can like stay away form ppl on the list...maybe its shouldn't be a blacklist of guys but girls too? i mean face not only boys are horndogs....

yah but girls suffer more psychological effects than guys...

and let's face it, most guys would probably think "doesn't matter, had sex"

if you're reading this...

you're gay

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peter zen
Visitor

13 years 3 months ago #137895 by peter zen

Replied by peter zen on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

Betty L wrote:
th3f4llen wrote: Don't ban anyone. In fact, don't even impose such a rule. Instead, make a "blacklist". Guys that are repeatedly reported to do such things, will have their name in the blacklist. That blacklist won't limit the guy's actions on the forum, but it is a label right next to his name to warn the other girls that he is only here for flings and such. The idea is, if that person is not going to tell girls he's only here for flings, then the mods will do it.

i like this idea! I mean if the girl wants a fling with a gross guy let her be. but yah if you want a relationship you can like stay away form ppl on the list...maybe its shouldn't be a blacklist of guys but girls too? i mean face not only boys are horndogs....

imma totally hit on everyone with a pulse to get that label.

I need that rep to attract all the female horndogs...

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Karyuu
Topic Author
Administrator

13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137897 by Karyuu

Replied by Karyuu on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

th3f4llen:
Well what we could do is to make a list in the admin files about people who get reported about such stuff. And once the number of incidents reaches a certain threshold it gets posted publicly.
But still we'd need to ask for evidence and stuff, if not you could still abuse the system.

By the way, users are free to delete their profile and create a new one as they wish, we can't really track them to their new profile as we don't keep files from deleted profiles ...

peter zen:
Dunno, maybe I mistook that.
Anyways, complaining about admins by writing me or other admins of your trust does not have negative consequences for the person complaining. And you can also make an anonymous complaint to a single admin if you don't want your identity revealed. However, you do need to bring some form of proof. People who get into conflict with others will in most cases perceive these others as biased, holding grudges, being unfair etc. A statement of a single user that he finds one admin to be acting improperly, without chat logs or screen shots, will therefore not cause much. If a ton of people were complaining about an admin that'd be something else.

Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by Karyuu.

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th3f4llen
User is blocked

13 years 3 months ago #137903 by th3f4llen

Replied by th3f4llen on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

Karyuu wrote: th3f4llen:
Well what we could do is to make a list in the admin files about people who get reported about such stuff. And once the number of incidents reaches a certain threshold it gets posted publicly.
But still we'd need to ask for evidence and stuff, if not you could still abuse the system.

By the way, users are free to delete their profile and create a new one as they wish, we can't really track them to their new profile as we don't keep files from deleted profiles ...

I've already thought of that. But it seems, like you said in your old posts when I suggest IP tracking and stuff, that it's not possible. So sue me but that's the best I can come up with... unless you tell me the parameters of what the mods can and cannot do, then I might be able to come up with a better idea

if you're reading this...

you're gay

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jin
Visitor

13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137907 by jin

Replied by jin on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

I tried to think of something that might stop the situation from occurring in the first place.

Maybe a thread where you post that you are meeting someone from the site. Just post the screen name of the person you are meeting.

That way if the guy is charming a number of ladies on the site, they will see that he's meeting up with someone else.

And if it doesn't go well... we all know who she met up with.

Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by jin. Reason: spelling

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immoral e-
Visitor

13 years 3 months ago #137909 by immoral e-

Replied by immoral e- on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

Karyuu wrote: immoral e-: They disappear from the girl's life. Not from Hey-Ai, of course, otherwise we couldn't reach them any more anyways XD. A thread to publicly shun guys might be possible too. People have started such in the past but we've closed them. But these are dangerous too. Imagine a guy breaking up with a girl because it just didn't work out, the girl being upset about it and writing her girlfriends and telling them to testify against the guy in such a thread. It's just too easy to abuse if you leave such a thread totally unmoderated :-/

Wait I thought only the "victims" are allowed testify. Unless the friend of the victim pretends to be another victim, which leads us to question the motive. "Because she's my friend"? Sounds rather childish but not improbable. And as for the thread, you can make it moderator-only. I think the problem is that most denizens here seldom/don't use the forum.

th3f4llen wrote: yah but girls suffer more psychological effects than guys...

Sounds sexist, but agreeable.

th3f4llen wrote: I've already thought of that. But it seems, like you said in your old posts when I suggest IP tracking and stuff, that it's not possible.

Aren't IP addresses changeable? Besides, what if other neutral hey-ai denizens share the same computer with the perpetrator(s), unlikely as it sounds?

I couldn't come up with any useful idea, except maybe saving pictures of the people you're meeting, just in case the moderators need them for their blacklist. The best the perpetrator can do then is growing a beard or undergoing plastic surgery, I guess. Anyway, methinks awareness is still #1.

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Karyuu
Topic Author
Administrator

13 years 3 months ago #137910 by Karyuu

Replied by Karyuu on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

th3f4llen: Well we can track a user quite extensively XD However it's all manual work and takes time and effort.
Don't get me wrong I see potential in the idea you're proposing, I'm just thinking about how it could work best.
Another thing is, if you're a guy and notice suddenly on your profile a warning saying "2 guys complained that they felt this guy used them for a quick lay", most guys will either try to get deleted or make a new account or they'll protest to us. Also, usually none of the guys will have red the rules. None of our users ever reads our rules so we're working with a "warning first, punishment the next time" system. But then also most girls who complain about a guy want to stay anonymous.

Jin:
Also not a bad idea, however I have the feeling that 1) not everyone on the site might notice that thread and 2) a good percentage might not be willing to enter their info there. I mean our core members have a personal relationship to the site and trust us, but the ones who only use it every once in a while see it as an anonymous place in the Internet and would maybe rather be inclined to protect their privacy ...

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th3f4llen
User is blocked

13 years 3 months ago #137911 by th3f4llen

Replied by th3f4llen on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

immoral e- wrote:
th3f4llen wrote: I've already thought of that. But it seems, like you said in your old posts when I suggest IP tracking and stuff, that it's not possible.

Aren't IP addresses changeable? Besides, what if other neutral hey-ai denizens share the same computer with the perpetrator(s), unlikely as it sounds?

Well there are always ways to get around the system. No defense is perfect. But think about this, what are the chances of them knowing how to change the IP address? Or actually, what are the chances of them desperate enough to actually change the IP address? Not much. What are the chances of them sharing a computer? Not likely either. So my method will minimize the issue, not completely wipe it out... since that's almost impossible

if you're reading this...

you're gay

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Karyuu
Topic Author
Administrator

13 years 3 months ago - 13 years 3 months ago #137912 by Karyuu

Replied by Karyuu on topic Re: Please discuss an optional rule change against guys who repeatedly trick girls into sex here.

immoral e-:
Well of course anyone can testify/speak out but we need to develop a means that makes sure that what the testimonial is true.

A thread where moderators post pics of "victims" with guys who mislead them sounds like a very interesting idea =) Like, if two individual girls report a guy for misleading and both have a pic of him and them then one of those gets posted in a "warning thread" in the forums ... and then our girls have to use their common sense from there ... that sounds like something that might work a bit better than the other suggestions (including mine XD)

About people who share a computer (or have previously used the same computer): These do exist, but that's pretty easy to find out. In case of doubt both need to cam up XD

Last edit: 13 years 3 months ago by Karyuu.

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