Bigger girls are out of the question...right?

There's more to it than the whole "love yoself before you can love anyone" or "just have confidence" and so on and so on.

I've gotten the "you're a really nice person" often and a lot. Did you know that there are other words to use as compliments? Honestly, give me more than just the "nice person" deal. I get it. People call me a nice person because they do not like how I look. It's obvious. Thanks for being honest but it really does nothing for my self confidence.

I even asked my friends what they think of my looks, and I got the silent treatment before I was given an answer. One actually called me "average." Average what, exactly?

"Do you think I'm cute?" I asked one. Silence, and then, "eeehh." Brilliant..

With such comments like that, it's no wonder that they are reasons why I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.

You can be healthy at any weight.

And no, leftyTokio, it is not "simple as that", and I do not appreciate the "it's all in your head" comment. Mental illness is no laughing matter to me at all. There are many reasons as to why I have weighty issues. Do you honestly think that living with a mental illness such as BDD daily is fun? No.

Do you honestly think it's fun with living with any kind of mental illness? No. We know it's all in our head. Mental illness plays tricks on us all the time.

Shyness aside, come and talk to me. Ignore your selfishness and get past how I look and you will see that I am a damn terrific person to get along with, to hang around with.

To all those who cannot get by how I look: once I snag me a boyfriend, you'll regret the chance you had to have me as your girlfriend. "We can at least be friends." Really? Then you'll have to work hard at it. "Don't be so mean!!" I can and will be. I went through a lot of emotional and verbal abuse in school, and I still get verbally and emotionally abused (but not by my tormentors).

Words can and do hurt.

samanosukesgirl wrote: There's more to it than the whole "love yoself before you can love anyone" or "just have confidence" and so on and so on.

I've gotten the "you're a really nice person" often and a lot. Did you know that there are other words to use as compliments? Honestly, give me more than just the "nice person" deal. I get it. People call me a nice person because they do not like how I look. It's obvious. Thanks for being honest but it really does nothing for my self confidence.

I even asked my friends what they think of my looks, and I got the silent treatment before I was given an answer. One actually called me "average." Average what, exactly?

"Do you think I'm cute?" I asked one. Silence, and then, "eeehh." Brilliant..

With such comments like that, it's no wonder that they are reasons why I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.

You can be healthy at any weight.

And no, leftyTokio, it is not "simple as that", and I do not appreciate the "it's all in your head" comment. Mental illness is no laughing matter to me at all. There are many reasons as to why I have weighty issues. Do you honestly think that living with a mental illness such as BDD daily is fun? No.

Do you honestly think it's fun with living with any kind of mental illness? No. We know it's all in our head. Mental illness plays tricks on us all the time.

Shyness aside, come and talk to me. Ignore your selfishness and get past how I look and you will see that I am a damn terrific person to get along with, to hang around with.

To all those who cannot get by how I look: once I snag me a boyfriend, you'll regret the chance to have me as your girlfriend. "We can at least be friends." Really? Then you'll have to work hard at it. "Don't be so mean!!" I can and will be. I went through a lot of emotional and verbal abuse in school, and I still get verbally and emotionally abused (but not by my tormentors).

Words can and do hurt.

I'm a skinny nerdy guy, I get exactly the same treatment too from girls. Girls look at buffed up dudes with clean cut hair and totally overlook me. And I look like this because of my poor choices! LOL I can change my habit and exercise more, but I don't. It's my choice. And I said IF you think you are disadvantaged because of the weight, then It's all in your head because no one else is forcing you to think you are disadvantaged, but yourself. It's all in your head, as in your perception. If you feel that way, then thats because you decided it is so. I have a WF friend who's on an overweight side, but instead of focusing on her look or weight, she just lives her life like everyone else, and she's a super nice person, and guess what, she married a Japanese guy in Japan. She has the positive attitude and a kind heart and people appreciate that, period. And it comes from her head, that's right.

«Words can and do hurt. »

Of course they do. I've been verbally and emotionnaly abused too ( by my own family and a lot in primary school). It hurts a lot and it's very difficult to keep a good self-esteem when you live in this kind of environment all day long.
However, if you wanna live your life and die without any regret, you have to get over it and pass to something else. Or you're gonna be disappointed and unhappy all your life.

Actually, I believe that every person has its own criteria, or taste. I'm curveous and a little
bigger and I still have a « lovelife »!

*Sorry for my poor English!

the thing with BBW is that it comes off as they are lazy and don't care too much about themselves with asks another question, if they don't care about themselves , how can they care for the man?

even if obesity runs in the family, it's not something you cannot change. it will take a lot of time and effort then most people, but it's not impossible.

Guys, I think we've been giving the same advices over and over, but our tone is always kinda negative all along. We should try to be more encouraging rather than criticizing, myself included.

To BBW girls, if you strip down all the negativity in our comments, you can still look at the message, no? Guys suffer from similar self image related stigma, like the height, and penis size! LOL. But we get over it.

Not keen on bigger gals, but that's just preference. This doesn't mean I dislike chubby gals, just if you cross that line between chubby and morbidly obese, no thanks. I like to stay active so I'd prefer a gal that can keep up, or that I wouldn't have to slow down as much for.

I'd like to think most people would be happy with a healthy partner.

Oh, and I'm quite certain there's a fat fetish isn't there?

I think chubby people are cute.

I didn't read through all of the posts so I'm not sure if this has been said or not but, if you don't have self esteem, I think before worrying about what others think about you, you should first work on how you think of yourself.

Miaka wrote: seem a lot of asian guy like big girl.. sucks for me ahahha

hahah b****. Love it.