LDR to living together, how did you pick where to live?

Hi! My partner and I have been in a LDR for over 3'5 years and we're starting to plan/decide where settle down. He's Asian-American and I'm European. Our first option seems to be my country since we both would want a family and here we have Public Healthcare, "free" education (you still have to pay a little fee), better working conditions (vacation time, for ex.). Also his background would allow him to find a good job here easier than I could in the US since I went to Law School and Law is particular to each country.
The problem is that, being honest, my country is not that diverse and the area where I live is even worse. The times he's been here people kept looking at us and making comments. I don't know if I'd want to expose him (and our kids in the future) to being "the chinese" of the town, to be singled out at work or at school.
He said it's not that big of an issue, he feels loved by friends and family and people on the streets don't bother him. He insists that those other factors should weight more, but he hasn't been actually living here (as in going to work, and not being treated as a tourist anymore), so I don't think he knows how things would really be like.

So my question is, those of you who are or have been in a LDR, what factors do you take into consideration when picking where to settle down? Is racism (or the possibility of) one of them? Thanks!

Ye must tell us where LDR is
😊

As, your current profile doesn't say much, I'll have to presume a few things. Something tells me that you live in a very small city in your country. Maybe should you & your partner move to the capital or any other major city in your country. There will be better work opportunities there for sure & usually big cities have immigrants. Your boyfriend will not be the only one looking like an alien. Also, the fact that both of you are moving to another city will make it sort of even as for location. Good luck for what comes next.

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Mimri wrote:
Hi! My partner and I have been in a LDR for over 3'5 years and we're starting to plan/decide where settle down. He's Asian-American and I'm European. Our first option seems to be my country since we both would want a family and here we have Public Healthcare, "free" education (you still have to pay a little fee), better working conditions (vacation time, for ex.). Also his background would allow him to find a good job here easier than I could in the US since I went to Law School and Law is particular to each country.
The problem is that, being honest, my country is not that diverse and the area where I live is even worse. The times he's been here people kept looking at us and making comments. I don't know if I'd want to expose him (and our kids in the future) to being "the chinese" of the town, to be singled out at work or at school.
He said it's not that big of an issue, he feels loved by friends and family and people on the streets don't bother him. He insists that those other factors should weight more, but he hasn't been actually living here (as in going to work, and not being treated as a tourist anymore), so I don't think he knows how things would really be like.

So my question is, those of you who are or have been in a LDR, what factors do you take into consideration when picking where to settle down? Is racism (or the possibility of) one of them? Thanks!

I used to live in what polls say is one of the most racist towns in Australia. And yes, I have met a few that definitely fits that label but in the very same place, I also met some of the nicest people and made really good friends which made the racism not that much of a deal-breaker. There were times when I ran into disrespectful people but it never escalated into violence. My point is that every place likely has troublemakers but from my experience, they are typically a small percentage and you may over-estimate just how bad it is for Asians in western countries. But that's just my experience in general.

I don't know what is best in your particular situation but if one of you is going to move, they are going to give up close contact with friends and family. After relationship difficulty or even breakup, some people are more social and will need their family and friends close by. That's a factor that you should consider as on which one is unwilling to leave behind their life now, versus the ones who wants a new life.

No matter where one goes in this world they will always face hardships whether it is prejudice, racism, or others. If you two decided to move to an African country, you'd get the same stares from the people there. What you need to weigh in on is the socio-economic factor of where you'll plant yourselves. Free healthcare doesn't mean it's good healthcare and job opportunities aren't guaranteed. The USA used to be known as the land of opportunity, but I can't say that with confidence anymore. The statement no longer applies to the country as a whole, but more so dependent on which STATE you choose to call home. Seeing family shouldn't be a problem if you can afford a plane ticket. Vacation time typically is available for corporate jobs. McDonalds won't give you paid time off. The public school system here, again depends on the state but also the city, are indoctrination camps not institutions of education or higher learning. You don't want your children being told they are oppressors or victims because of their skin color. Unlike many European countries, we have 2A here for when your valiant man requires an effective weapon to protect himself or his family from BLM. Please reference all the videos of Asians getting their ass beat by Black Leftists. In particular, the video of an elderly Asian woman getting wailed on by a big Black man. Other than that, the USA for the most part is a great place to start the next generation of your family lines.

we played paper, rock, scissors and now ill be moving to the uk.

San_Ichiban wrote: we played paper, rock, scissors and now ill be moving to the uk.

Congratulations glad you found somebody

booster wrote:

San_Ichiban wrote: we played paper, rock, scissors and now ill be moving to the uk.

Congratulations glad you found somebody

if you lose at paper, rock, scissors you will be in charge of the buffet at our wedding.

^ any position for just be there to eat ?